Tuesday, March 7

Cheerleaders? Only the ASU ones matter

I'm sure many of you have all seen the Southern Illinois cheerleader who fell during a half-time performance. During her routine, trying to ignite fire into the "Saluki" faithful, in attendance at the Conference Finals for the Men's Missouri Valley Conference Basketball Tournament; she fell, hurt herself, and while being wheeled off on a stretcher moved her arms in the cheer motion to what I guess was the fight song that was being played.

I'm sick of it, and all the sports show's covering it.

Is this really news? I mean we've got Duke getting their ass handed to them on a regular basis the past few weeks. Gonzaga can only seem to squeak out wins against middle school B teams. Digger Phelps is picking Texas as his “Dark Horse” to win it all this year. The selections for the NCAA's are right around the corner and THIS is what's coming out of all the sports news outlets posing as college basketball news. What a load of bull-butter.

This cheerleader means about as much to the NCAA sports world as Nicholas Sparks means to creative writing.

Personally there is only ONE NCAA cheerleader that has any kind of merit in my life, and thanks to the fine people at The M Zone you too can now get to know her. Ms. Courtney Cox or Courtney Simpson as she's sometimes credited has now broken out of the confines of the high moral standard that all ladies of the Pac-10 adhere to, and is staring is such fine films as Double Dutch, 2-on-1 #22 - Oral Antics, and Vault of Whores.

If you ask me ole' Courtney is getting the shaft. She should be the one with a spread in the sport's section. I honestly can't believe more journalists haven't jumped on her story, but I for one am not gong to let her go down like that.

Seriously, Cheerleaders, Drill Teams and Marching Bands are like court jesters. They're there to simply fill in holes while the real entertainment is on a break (half-time, time outs). The water boys are more important than these nondescript ninnies are. Without water-boys, who would keep the real athletes hydrated to actually compete?

Cheerleaders and the like are carnie sideshows that should be happy that there are actual team sports around to give them a purpose in life. Without football, basketball, and the like, these young women would be forced to simply have sex with our top athletes without a cute fetish uniform to wear.


Now, don't let the Mole fool you, I don't mind cheerleaders at games, but I would like to see something orginal. Maybe teams could hire Skank from The Crow? He'd be way better than pom-pom's being waived to Gary Glitter tunes.

Fire it Up! Fire it Up!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAH!!!

Fire IT UP!!
FIRE IT UP!!

Everytime I see the damn picture of that cheerleader with her arms waving I can't help but to laugh. Even though I realize it's inappropriate and he should be commended for her dedication...it's like the time I was at Kinko's and a physically retarded guy got locked in the bathroom. All we heard was banging and groaning really loudly. I was worried and about to go over there to let him out (when someone else did), but still, some evil part of me couldn't help but bite my lip to stop me from laughing.
Luckily some other lady burst out laughing first so I could use that as an excuse to turn my laughter into outrage.
Yeah, I know it's hypocritical.
At least it wasn't me who laughed first.

On the outside I admire the cheerleader for her dedication.
On the inside I pity her for that dedication being aimed at cheerleading.
That's just as sad as someone saying their best years were in High School.