One Red Paper Clip

It's people like this guy that make me wish I were more creative.

Jesus Died, So That A Little Girl Who's Parents Died Could Find Their True Love After Forwarding A Picture Of The Texas Flag Flying Higher Than The US

Update: The link to the Obama stuff is here, also I want to make it known, that I support and will vote for John McCain, I'm recycling this post because I'm fucking sick and tired of the retards spreading ignorant "Red Scare" type propaganda. If you have to look up Red Scare, and or you continue to forward this garbage and believe it without research; then you should probably stay away from the poles in November anyway. Having people like you vote on the future of our country is why we're so beloved around the world in the first place.

Ok, just a little rant here:

1. Forwards are fucking stupid: I really don't give a shit about some little kid with cancer of the rectal wart who needs an $11.73 donation so that they can get the curing miracle milk suckled directly from a goat that lives in a Tibetan monastery which is infected with syphilis.
2. I don't give a flying fuck what you ate for lunch, if you're in love, what's in your CD player, and where your first kiss was. I especially want to shit on your chest if you tell me in a forward or a myspace bulletin every other day.
3. Blog is defined here, anything that resembles '1' and '2' don't belong in one.

Also, for all of you Ringer extras out there that are fooled by anything. Before you click forward on that e-mail, check this website out www.snopes.com. Don't look stupid to your friends.

One last thing, I love Texas, I honestly think we should leave the union. However, we are a member state in the United States of America and our state flag can't be flown higher than the national one. Here is a link to the flag code. Here is a link to flag code of Texas, and here is a link at snoops that debunks it as well.

Thanks for you time, and don't be a fucking retard.

Sincerely,
Mole

Soon To Be Featured On HBO's Real Sex

Remember the golden days of your youth? Back when you were a child and would ride on Daddy's back like he was a horse or if in a daring mood, a rodeo bull. Now you can do those things and more in The Daddle. For those of us that don't have the natural ability to shed our dignity (like wearing corn-rows, being a back up dancer, and marrying Britney Spears), this will allow everyone to lose what ever cool points you have left.

The thing is, I can't help but think that this will end up in a Real Sex fetish clip about sex toys.

Bring out the Gimp....

Nerdgasm

Yes, even the Mole will have one from time to time. Even though I'm a NASCAR fan and drop F-Bombs like Mark Cuban, my Id will drive me to indulge in such things as Star Wars. Most recently I commented in a friend’s blog about the superiority of Transformers to GoBots.....I need to get laid. Anyway, since both of these things are nerdy and were an extensive portion of my youthful playtime, seeing two things about them in one day, one of which combining the two, caused me to have a Nerdgasm.

First, we have the Transformers Deluxe Series. This is a set of special edition Transformers in which the vehicle basis for the toys are those from the Star Wars universe. The best part is that not only do these vehicles transform, but they transform into the character that "drove" them in the various films. How cool is that?

Second we have the Yoda Back Pack. Putting it on sort of replicates the scenes from Empire in which Yoda puts Luke Skywalker though his Jedi paces.

After seeing this, I had to go clean up after a Nerdgasm.

Truth Hurts?

Can someone prove to me that Jay Mariotti isn't an effn' fag?

Good Readin'

I'm not sure how literate many of you out there reading me actually are, but if you like to read, let The Mole suggest this book Save Toby. The book even has a website savetoby.com in which they give a short description of the book and its purpose:

Toby is the cutest little bunny on the planet. Unfortunately, he will DIE on November 6th, 2006 if you don’t help. I rescued him several months ago. I found him under my porch, soaking wet, injured from what appeared to be an attack from an alley cat. I took him in, thinking he had no chance to live from his injuries, but miraculously, he recovered. I have since spent several months nursing him to health. Toby is a fighter, that’s for sure.

Unfortunately, on November 6th, 2006, Toby will die. I am going to eat him. I am going to take Toby to a butcher to have him slaughter this cute bunny. I will then prepare Toby for a midsummer feast. I have several recipes under consideration, which can be seen, with some pretty graphic images, under the recipe section.

I don’t want to eat Toby, he is my friend, and he has always been the most loving, adorable pet. However, God as my witness, I will devour this little guy unless I sell 100,000 copies of my book, Save Toby: Only you have the power to save Toby.

This site has great section that include cute pictures of Toby as well as many tasty recipes on how to filet and cook a bunny.

They're only up to 3,467 books sold so far.

Infidel! I Smite The With My Holy AK-47!!!!!!!

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"

WOW!
Warning: I'm going to steer away from my normal ramblings and talk about a subject I have pretty strong feelings on. Though I'll try to stay neutral on the subject, you can rest assured that from my personal experiences this posting may veer in a direction that some of you may not like.

Growing up Catholic in a little east Texas town never really mattered to me until I got to high school and began dating. Through a few distinct experiences I became pretty aware that I was "Catholic" as if that's a bad word. I guess it's just the fact that I live in the Bible Belt and being Catholic here is like being a Gummy Bear in a bag in M&M's. Even though you're candy you're different. Anyway, I've fought a battle within myself over my short adult life with religion. A few small-minded people cut me pretty deep as a kid, and as such I've struggle with my "relationship" with God. I've worked through those issues after having a long talk with one of the involved parties, it helped resolve the issue within me. I've forgiven them, but I'll never forget the pain.

This brings me to Left Behind Games Inc. This company is a sister of Left Behind Inc., and both of which are in the entertainment business. What is their subject matter, you ask? Well, they deal with religion. Their works span many different topics but our focus is going to be the Left Behind series. This series deals with "end times" that can be found in The Bible's Book Of Revelation. As you can imagine their book and the movie based on the book sensationalize the events written in the Bible as they try to "Change your Life".

I find all this fascinating, especially with the video game. Isn't God about love and peace? I'm not sure that the good lord would put his golden stamp on a game that promotes such Christian values as "rotting bodies of New Yorkers piled high on the city streets". That just makes me giggle uncontrollably; sometimes you don't have to work for funny, it just writes itself. I know what you're saying to yourself, "Mole, it can't get any better/worse can it?" Wait for it cowboy, because in this game you're the leader of the "Tribulation Force" which includes a main character from the book, Buck Williams, played by none other than Mike Seaver himself Kirk Cameron. That's right not only do you get to execute those who don't believe the same way as you, but you get to do it leading a guy who made a name for himself playing a trouble making, panty chasing, slacker. So much for coming to America to escape religious persecution. I guess I could continue on with the irony that is Left Behind: Eternal Forces but I think we should view this as a way not to do things. This game and the "values" that it seems to glorify are the exact same issues behind Oklahoma's legislation trying to get Bill HB3004 signed into law. I'm probably not going out on a limb to far to say these people are the religious right types. *cough*Election Year Politics*cough*

You know, there's nothing wrong with religion. I feel that people should believe in what they want and not push their belief system and structure onto others. I mean, look, as Catholics, we did the whole crusade thing a long time ago, how did that work out? It's this kind of bigoted attitude that turn people away from Christianity. Not only that, it's these same kind of fundamentalist views that make people want to crash airplanes into skyscrapers. It's funny that ole' Kirk can have a website like this, but choose to associate himself with all of the Left Behind stuff. But, history has taught us that religion can be very profitable; from the temples of Rome, the pyramids of Egypt, the dark ages when priests were selling salvation, and even in recent history with the televangelists. I wonder how these holy publishers, and actors are doing?

Exodus 14:14 teaches: "The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent"

Maybe it's time for these people to reevaluate?

What's the difference between these two pics? A sheet.......

The Social Cuckold

So, the Mole was working on a new entry about the Social Cuckold that envelopes our world, and how I am and have been sick of it for years. I had all of these well formed thoughts put to "paper", but after reading Tucker Max's review of "The Alphabet of Manliness" (which by the way is debuting at #4 on the NY Times Best Seller's List) there's no need for me to continue.

So:

1. Read this Review
   
2. By This Book
   
3. Visit This Site

If you've read anything by James Frey, and you're not planning on reading this, promptly remove yourself from my friends list on myspace.

No Clever Title, Just Read And Enjoy

I know we're only around half way through the year, but if any article eclipses this one on the unintentional funny scale then I'll kick myself in the nuts.

Maybe if the owner or breeder had taken a class on how to speak "Dog" this could have all been avoided.

Don't Let Your Babies Grow To Be Cowboys

I'm not sure Willie had the human train-wreck and some Canadian clown in mind when he wrote this song. But needless to say, if I had a son, I'd have a hard time steering him in a direction to cheer for the Cowboys with their two newest members. The two castoffs they picked up this off-season would be better off with Rudolph, Hermey, and Yukon Cornelius on the island of misfit toys; but Jerry Jones has managed to place them in Dallas.

Just as I thought, the least important of the two, and actually the least important person on any football team, the kicker, made what might be the worst analogy of all time. In this article on ESPN.com Mike Vanderjagt stated:

"Michael Jordan missed game-winning jump shots, Tiger Woods missed putts. Does that mean they're not as good as you think they are?"

"I'm the best kicker in the history of the game regardless of whether I missed my last kick or not, and that's the way I look at it."

Lets break this down:

1. Michael Jordan missed game-winning jump shots - He also made 25 game winners with the Bulls alone, 28 total, not the mention the one in the '98 finals to win his sixth and final championship. Hell, Gatorade as built part of their new ad-campaign around one of his game winners and his ability in the clutch. Mike, on the other hand, can't even make a game winner to get his team to the championship game.
   


2. Tiger Woods missed puts - Here's a couple of stats to run by you, 9-1 PGA Tour playoff record, most tour wins by a golfer before the age of 30, not to mention his victories in 10 majors. How many puts did he have to make to get those stats?
   


3. I'm the best kicker in the history of the game - You know, football really isn't a numbers game, that's baseball, but I'll play. I'm not a sports almanac by any means but the one number that counts are those in the win/loss columns. Mike, you don't have enough in the "W" column to call you self the best ever, hell, you're not even the best current kicker in the game, that's Adam Vinatieri, period, end of discussion.
   

The fact is Mike; you have a record of kicking consistency that is very high. There's no doubt in my mind that if the Cowboys had you last season then they win a few more games, and are probably in a dog fight for the conference championship. However, until you make a great kick, a kick that elevates your team into the next round, then you will always the "Idiot Kicker". When the pressures on, you undoubtedly have the biggest mangina ever.

Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while.

Daily Idiocy

So, yeah, sometimes the most random shit will run thought my mind on a daily basis. So, today I bring to you RAT (Random Adam Thoughts).

Some say that only God will bring peace. I say only Motley Crue will bring "Piece Of Your Action".

Awesome: I Fuckin' Shot That!

Even though their last album was a pretty hit and miss luke-warm effort, most that know the Mole know that I’m an avid Beastie Boys fan. With that in mind this latest news from ign.com has me so excited I may need to get out my official Tenacious D cum rag. On July 25th, the Beastie Boys are releasing their film Awesome: I...*ExpletiveDeletedForRetailPublic* Shot that.

This film was shot during a sold out concert at Madison Square Garden in New York where 50 lucky fans were handed video cameras to document the event. Afterwards, director Nathaniel Hornblower assembled the footage which was first screened at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival, and later put on a limited release in March. We can now personally own the film that won awards such as 2nd Place Best Dressed -LeFrak City Movie Contest.

I'm so looking forward to this. By the way, if you don't like the Beastie Boys, or, if you are a "fan"; you know, a fan who knows all the words to Brass Monkey yet has no idea what a Hip Hop Masterpiece Paul's Boutique is. Please, give me call so I can serve you up a big ice-cream cone of my nuts - with pubic shaving sprinkles.......

It can't be any worse than Rent