Guitar Queer-O

You know, I wonder sometimes; why did P decide to say yes that day in Vegas? Was it the the margarita haze at the bar in the Venetian while we waited on our gondola ride? Was it my trendy stylish look that afternoon of tattered Levi's, Mick Fanning Reefs, and a button down white shirt with that one extra button undone to show off my mane of man fur? Or was it her glimpse into the future of what she would see when she came home from the gym on Wednesday?

Wednesday as P came home from working out she walked in on me in the living room, left foot hiked up on the fireplace, in my work clothes, talking shit with absolutely no one else in the room, and a fake guitar propped at a 90 degree angle on my right leg. That's right, I was online, playing Guitar Hero III, and talking noise to what was probably a 12 year old who couldn't hear me, and jerks off to the lingerie section of the Sears catalog.

P: What are you doing?
Mole: Kicking some kid's ass online.
P: Can they hear what you're saying?
Mole: No.
P: Then why are you talking?
Mole: Because this douche-bag picked Through the Fire and Flames by Dragon Force and the little cock sucker can't even play it. Whoever this little cum-stain is made me play through this fucking song and THEY can't even hit a fucking note!
P: *silence*
Mole: What?
P: *silence*
Mole: Fuck this guy.

That's right, I'm now THAT GUY. I'm the guy that gets on the internet to play complete and total strangers in a game that requires me to put on a fake plastic guitar. I'm the guy that talks shit to the TV, and I'm the guy who now also posts his stats from playing online in his blog to the right. And what does any of this mean? Probably......that I'm gay. So, if any of you think you're a better Guitar Queer-O than the old Mole, and you have a Wii. Just send me a message, and I'll kick your ass too while talking shit to the TV.

I'm waiting, and probably in my "draws"......