Guitar Queer-O

You know, I wonder sometimes; why did P decide to say yes that day in Vegas? Was it the the margarita haze at the bar in the Venetian while we waited on our gondola ride? Was it my trendy stylish look that afternoon of tattered Levi's, Mick Fanning Reefs, and a button down white shirt with that one extra button undone to show off my mane of man fur? Or was it her glimpse into the future of what she would see when she came home from the gym on Wednesday?

Wednesday as P came home from working out she walked in on me in the living room, left foot hiked up on the fireplace, in my work clothes, talking shit with absolutely no one else in the room, and a fake guitar propped at a 90 degree angle on my right leg. That's right, I was online, playing Guitar Hero III, and talking noise to what was probably a 12 year old who couldn't hear me, and jerks off to the lingerie section of the Sears catalog.

P: What are you doing?
Mole: Kicking some kid's ass online.
P: Can they hear what you're saying?
Mole: No.
P: Then why are you talking?
Mole: Because this douche-bag picked Through the Fire and Flames by Dragon Force and the little cock sucker can't even play it. Whoever this little cum-stain is made me play through this fucking song and THEY can't even hit a fucking note!
P: *silence*
Mole: What?
P: *silence*
Mole: Fuck this guy.

That's right, I'm now THAT GUY. I'm the guy that gets on the internet to play complete and total strangers in a game that requires me to put on a fake plastic guitar. I'm the guy that talks shit to the TV, and I'm the guy who now also posts his stats from playing online in his blog to the right. And what does any of this mean? Probably......that I'm gay. So, if any of you think you're a better Guitar Queer-O than the old Mole, and you have a Wii. Just send me a message, and I'll kick your ass too while talking shit to the TV.

I'm waiting, and probably in my "draws"......

Running Sucks, And So Does Your Face

So, it's been over a month since I last posted. Santa came and went, New Year's came and went, and the Cowboy's receivers and offensive line forgot how to catch and block. The Mole hasn't posted much because of the funk surrounding his loss in December. In fact I've been in a funk, most of last year. It's hard to be creative, funny, or motivated in general when so much shitty is happening in your life, but one of things I'm going to do more of this year is get back to blogging; giving you, the people, an inside view of how The Mole's twisted little mind works. I want you to hear my spin on topical events, and I want to be able to make as many dick and fart jokes as humanly possible.

Also, I'm back in the gym. And I'm also one of those lemmings that runs using the Nike+ thing on my iPod. Yes I'm one of those people that has an iPod. I have multiple iPods, and use iTunes religiously. I don't care about your arguments of being locked into Apple's DRM, I don't care about not being able to play my tracks purchased from iTunes on other mp3 players, and I don't care that your mp3 player can make voice recordings and tune to radio stations. The reason I have an iPod is because I HATE listening to radio. All they ever play is garbage packaged to you and your 12 year old daughter that also listens to Metallica. And, in the same way I don't by a car so that I can fly, I don't by an mp3 player to record my voice. I have a voice recorder for that.

*focus Mole*

Right, so last month I weighed in at 213, that's too heavy for the old Mole even though I showed up at a New Year's Party in cheerleading shorts (I wear a women's large in soffee), I feel like it's time to regin my body back into what it looked like about 3 years ago, so I'm working out and running again. You can track my progress of 5ks to the right.

Happy New Year!