The Failure Continues to Fail

When is it funny to make fun of suicide? When it's TO that tries it, that's who! In case you're living under a rock, TO was rushed to Baylor medical center in Dallas last night for an "undisclosed" illness. The local CBS affiliate broke the story this morning that he had actually ingested a ton of pain-killers, trying to end it all.

HAHAHAHAHAHA...............DOUCHE..........can't you do anything right?

This guy is a perpetual loser that has failed at every corner:

*With the 49er's, he couldn't supplant an aging Jerry Rice
*With the Eagles, he couldn't win a Super Bowl or win the team over against it's real leader Donovan McNabb
*With the Cowboys, he's playing second chair to Terry Glenn
*In his generation, he'll never be thought of as the best receiver, Thanks Marvin Harrison!

And now this! I tell you what, if I had been the paramedic on the scene, I would have helped shove the pills down his prima-donna pampered throat. This guy is your typical receiver. Just like they can't do anything on the field unless a quarterback puts a ball in their hands, he can't even kill himself on his own.

Die Terrell, Die.....I won't miss you.

That's Right Ice... man... I am dangerous.

It's a sad day. Today is the first time in over 30 years the US Navy doesn't have active F-14s in their fleet because yesterday the Tomcat was retired from active service. Growing up, the Tomcat up as a symbol, to me, of American air power. The plane itself had the ability to intercept most every air target along with the fire power to bring it down. Yet, it also had the maneuverability of the smaller jets to get into close "dog fight" style combat; it was very versatile.

The Tomcat however, was immortalized in 1986 as the fighter jet of choice for gay men. That's right, nothing says American brutality like a pile of guys in towels clicking their teeth at each other, close talking, and telling each other how "dangerous" they are, or can be. Of course I'm talking about Top Gun, a movie that blazed a trail for the "don't ask don't tell" policies of the American military. On top of that, it also glamorized the beard. Thanks to Kelly McGillis, now gay men would no longer have to be seen with those rough looking Fag Hags. Also, this movie put the final nail in the Kenny Loggin's "Hey! I'm still the guy who wrote the Caddyshack theme" coffin, thanks Top Gun.

"Nobody's looking, let me oil you up again, PLEASE!!!!!"


"So that's why they call you Goose?"

Ob-La-Di

A while back an old college friend who frequents this little bag of nothing called my blog wrote a message saying how much she enjoyed reading my little blurbs. She mentioned that she had no idea how clever or funny, or whatever I was when we were back in college. It made me smile for a few reasons because a) somebody besides my wife and sister was actually reading this thing; and b) I'm glad I've turned a corner in my life.

Ahhh college....

In college, I had to rediscover myself so to speak. In High school I was captain of the football team, had a girlfriend, and worked all the time. Between school, work, sports, and the puppy love, I had little time for anything else. College happened, and with it the realization I was a VERY average athlete, not to mention the afore mentioned puppy ran away. Lots of things can make a person vulnerable in life, and with me two fourths of my life were gone. These things were how I spent all of my personal time; either out with the girl, or being a gym rat, and in the blink of an eye I had none of it. There was no Mole then, there was only Adam, and Adam was lost.

Enter Alcohol....

I can't say enough about how much I enjoy the bottle, it’s comforting and it's easy. Most importantly it's a bomb waiting to go off in the right (wrong?) hands. In my hands, at the time, the explosiveness of that compound was the stuff of legend, and spawn Mole. Are these legends funny, sure? Were they healthy, no? The perpetual haze of those years spent constantly drinking, along with other poor decisions led to one bad relationship after another, with "friends" of all walks. There was so much wrong in my life that the alcohol became a crutch used to escape the madness of how my life was crumbling. You see, when you drink yourself to the point of passing out 3-5 times a week just to find light on a cloudy night, you'll eventually begin to reflect back to think how lucky you are to be alive.

Thank God for graduation....

In 4 years I made it through. Thank goodness it didn't take me any longer, because I was at a point where I was going to wind up dead on the side of the road one night. It took a bit, but I found separation from the evil in my life. It wasn't as clean a break as I would have liked but it was a break nonetheless. I found a job, I started dating, and I moved on. Eventually good things fell into place, and I started to mend fences that were rusted. When you've been to some nasty places you'll appreciate just how lucky you are to have it good.

Mirror Mirror....

My life was at an all time low, and that was just a few years back. I was unhappy with all aspects of it, and my self destructive nature provided a temporary relief so that I could fool myself into believe I had it all. The thing is that while I've moved on, some still find some kind of solace in the past; my nose is pointed forward however. I've had a life plan, and I've stuck to it. Those that didn't want to come along let go, and I'm better for it.

All in all....

I am the Mole, and I love that. What I'm most proud of though is that I've found Adam again. Adam is a real person, and Adam can feel. Mole has no feelings, he's a self centered, egotistical, know it all, beer-swilling jerk off. Mole only loves the fight, and that's why I wasn't as clever, or funny or whatever in college. In college and shortly there after there was only Mole. Fortunately for me, Adam was found under all the rubble that my life had become. While I'm not yet whole, I'm twice the guy I was then. Hell, even the Mole is better behaved when I let him out of his cage those few times of the year he gets to see daylight.

Life is good when you let go.

Updates Coming, Get Off My Bag!!!!!

Ok, so I haven't posted anything in quite some time. Simple fact is, I work. And not only is my work hellacious right now, my hobby is kicking my ass. It's the end of the fiscal year, and since I work in Finance, quite honestly, I'd rather get tea-bagged by a 50 year old baboon, for 8 hours than have to listen to the incessant bitching and complaining that's going on at work all the time.

To make matters worse, it's the beginning of football season, and I work games damn near every night of the week. So, not only do I have an endless conveyer belt of Sloth's coming in and out of my office on a minute by minutes basis, I have to deal with people who ran up countless student loans, and wasted government grant money to spend the rest of their lives in a locker room around naked teen-aged boys. (Yes, I know I've used that joke before, fuck off).

Oh a bright note, P and I joined a bowling league. I have a ball, and shoes, and everything.

Lick my balls, I'll update when I want