Prediction, Adam Will Take a Dump Today!

Well, this weekend was a treat with P's graduation, Christmas with her dad, and watching the offensive line all but finish the Cowboy's chance of a playoff appearance. Thanks to their outstanding play the past 5-6 weeks the Cowboys have been reduced to being beaten by the likes of Washington and Denver.

Which brings me to "other" observations. It seems that a friend of mine thinks that the Colts are somehow less of team when compared to the mighty Broncos of Denver. His reasoning behind this mistiful thinking is that the Colts, with Manning at the helm, have not beaten anyone in the playoffs with less than 6 losses. There is no pleasing this guy I guess, because that would mean that beating one of the San Francisco Super Bowl Championship teams of the 80s wouldn't be enough to prove that the Colts are a good team. Further, you could even make the argument that beating the 9-4 Packers, who won it all, back before the 16 game schedule came out wouldn't be enough for the Colts to satisfy him.

That brings me to the Broncos. Mike Shanahan is an average running back's dream coach. Through his implementation of the running game and non-standard O-Line template, he has made household names out of such college stand outs like Reuben Droughns (who?), it's pretty remarkable. It's these types of running backs and the aerial hit-man that is Jake "The Fake" Plummer that has my buddy's hand cupped, and ready to stroke his 2005 football stiffy. He so loves that Denver running game and Mike Shanahan's coaching ability that he has forgotten that Mike and the vaunted Denver rushing attack has done absolutely Jack, or Jake for that matter, shit since Elway retired. Jake Plummer is a perennial loser who has only tasted playoff success against a Cowboy crew that was pretending to be a playoff team. Speaking of fakes, Mike Shanahan quite possibly is the Mack Brown of the NFL; this guy has teams that analysts slurp all year only to piss into the wind when it comes playoff time. What I'm saying is, you can pick them to be "your" team dejour this season, but I'll believe it when I see it. Win a playoff game sometime, like the Colts have.

Then there's the issue of the "band wagon", which is defined as a current fashionable trend. How can pulling for the Colts to win it all be band wagon? They've made it to their conference championship game as recently as 2 years ago. The last time Denver sniffed it, Bill Clinton was flavoring his cigars with the ooze of beret wearing interns, looking to marry into a Martha's Vineyard family. Hell, they've even moved to a new stadium since then. The only band wagon I could have been accused of is the Colts trying for the perfect season, which I've never mentioned. Band wagon is getting behind the Broncos with Jake having his "once in a life time season", since this is the first time in his career that he has been this good, there's a fashionable trend for you. Truly jumping onto a band wagon would be rooting for the Bengals, they do look good though, no?

Then, saying the Colts will lose to the Chargers, who I think are the second best team in the league, then saying after that loss will lose again to the Seahawks is a bold move. First, the Chargers are that good, so for them to beat the Colts is no surprise. Then, after the perfect season is unattainable, with no reason to play their stars in the following game, while their opponent is still trying to wrap up home field advantage, I think it's pretty obvious who will win. Since I'm becoming lactose intolerant it would be like me eating an ice cream cone and predicting that I'm going to have projectile diarrhea afterwards.......No shit, really?

Sigh.

By the way, The Colts have beaten 5 of the 6 3-4 defenses they've faced this season, Peyton seems very confused.

Run To the Hills!!!!

So it's been a while since my last post, but to be honest, nothing with any entertainment value has happened over the past few weeks. That brings me to yesterday. Yesterday the glorious folks in my region of the country got what I like to call an East Texas Blizzard. An East Texas Blizzard consists of mainly temperatures below freezing but above zero, winds at or around 10mph, and typically a quarter inch sheet of ice, sleet, snow or all of the above.

As you can imagine, from these horrific conditions, the IRoc driving mullets from my neck of the woods were leaving work early and running to the hills (some blasting the actual song from their T-tops).

To make matters worse, after taking my soon to be mother-in-law out for a birthday dinner last night, P and I decided to run by Sonic to pick up a drink. No such luck, for it seems that even the thought of the roads becoming icy with the onset of night approaching; the unwashed masses that work at this local fast food chain needed to close shop at 9pm......TERRIFIC. I'm sure it was too much trouble to walk the 20-30 yards to the street to see that there was in fact no accumulation of ice, let alone any precipitation in the air. Why God!!!!! Why do you surround me with these Mongoloids!!!!!

Fast forward to today. I work for a pretty big corporation, not that I'm being boastful but to give you a general idea of a normal morning. Normally I pull into work about 5 after 8. It usually takes a good 10-15 minutes of walking to get to my office. It's a pretty good walk from where I usually park but it's never bothered me. Today however, I park 2 rows from the entrance. I work for a MAJOR government contractor, where the lives of good men and women from around the world depend on whether or not the things that we build out here work. F'n lives are at stake!!!!!!!!!!! But, I guess, not when there's a thin sheet of ice on the ground......they'll just have to die today. It gets better though, when the drones finally do drag their George A. Romero like bodies into work, they're in Nikes, flannel shirts and acid washed jeans. It's as if Tommy Lee is clearing out his late 80s early 90s gear, and I'm stuck in his 8-4:30 garage sale. At this point I think my head is truly going to explode.

It really amazes me how the greatest state with some of the greatest people in the US can act like a herd of Corky Thatcher's at the mere thought of winter weather. It makes me wonder why they didn't put drool catch pans in every office and cubicle out here.

Zach Braf Actor > Zach Braf Director

To kick off my blog I'm going to rant just a little bit, so bear with me. Tonight became a Blockbuster night since because of a lawsuit I scored a bunch of free rentals. Unfortunately now my mind feels numb after having to endure the train wreck Garden State. This movie has been on my radar for a while but since I rarely have time to watch movies, what with all the drinking and sex, it's hard to get them all in. Wow, Zach Braff needs to stick with Scrubs, and leave the writing and directing to those who aren't mouth breathing retards. I mean, this movie just rambles, and never really gets interesting, in any part. I mean I'm sure it's a great achievement to get a movie made because movie execs won't just throw some shit over the fence (Freddy Got Fingered), but really, lets at least try to be fucking creative. I mean when I watch a movie, I want to connect with someone fictional, I want to feel like I'm there, and I have stake in the outcome of the people involved. With Garden State, I felt like I was at the reception of my sister's wedding waiting for my alcoholic aunt to fall down in the mud, while my other sluttier drunk aunt hooks up with a buddy of mine in the bushes. To be fair, I will kick a shout out to the guy in the Knight's Armor, WHAT WHAT!!!!!! That got a giggle. Anyway, if you're into being beat over the head with a ball peen hammer while having a possum naw on your nutsack, listening to looped track of Celine Dion beat her chest during a long solo, you should give Garden State a rent, you won't be disappointed. Me, I'm going to suck a tail pipe now