Thursday, December 8

Run To the Hills!!!!

So it's been a while since my last post, but to be honest, nothing with any entertainment value has happened over the past few weeks. That brings me to yesterday. Yesterday the glorious folks in my region of the country got what I like to call an East Texas Blizzard. An East Texas Blizzard consists of mainly temperatures below freezing but above zero, winds at or around 10mph, and typically a quarter inch sheet of ice, sleet, snow or all of the above.


As you can imagine, from these horrific conditions, the IRoc driving mullets from my neck of the woods were leaving work early and running to the hills (some blasting the actual song from their T-tops).

To make matters worse, after taking my soon to be mother-in-law out for a birthday dinner last night, P and I decided to run by Sonic to pick up a drink. No such luck, for it seems that even the thought of the roads becoming icy with the onset of night approaching; the unwashed masses that work at this local fast food chain needed to close shop at 9pm......TERRIFIC. I'm sure it was too much trouble to walk the 20-30 yards to the street to see that there was in fact no accumulation of ice, let alone any precipitation in the air. Why God!!!!! Why do you surround me with these Mongoloids!!!!!

Fast forward to today. I work for a pretty big corporation, not that I'm being boastful but to give you a general idea of a normal morning. Normally I pull into work about 5 after 8. It usually takes a good 10-15 minutes of walking to get to my office. It's a pretty good walk from where I usually park but it's never bothered me. Today however, I park 2 rows from the entrance. I work for a MAJOR government contractor, where the lives of good men and women from around the world depend on whether or not the things that we build out here work. F'n lives are at stake!!!!!!!!!!! But, I guess, not when there's a thin sheet of ice on the ground......they'll just have to die today. It gets better though, when the drones finally do drag their George A. Romero like bodies into work, they're in Nikes, flannel shirts and acid washed jeans. It's as if Tommy Lee is clearing out his late 80s early 90s gear, and I'm stuck in his 8-4:30 garage sale. At this point I think my head is truly going to explode.

It really amazes me how the greatest state with some of the greatest people in the US can act like a herd of Corky Thatcher's at the mere thought of winter weather. It makes me wonder why they didn't put drool catch pans in every office and cubicle out here.

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